ARSON Reviews Rock Band (XB360)

The first thing everyone notices about Rock Band is the fact that it is more or less a copy of the widely revered Guitar Hero. The second thing the notice is that it has two more instruments: drums and vocals. To all the ignoramuses out there who said "What the hell, they're stealing Red Octane's idea!" You all deserve to be fed to Swedish mountain goats because the guys who made Rock Band are THE SAME GUYS who made GH1 and GH2. Let me explain: After Guitar Hero 2 was made, the developers, Red Octane and Harmonix, split up. Red Octane went on to make Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock (disappointing), and Harmonix went on to make Rock Band. And their "idea" isn't actually theirs: there have been several games before Guitar Hero which attempted to accomplish what the GH series did. But enough about that. I'm going to point out everything Harmonix did right and wrong in Rock Band.

The basis for Rock Band is simple: use the controller shaped like a guitar, drums, microphone, harmonica, banjo, lawn mower, burrito, or mountain goat to hit the notes that scroll across the screen. One huge foopah is made right there in the guitar controller: apparently it was designed to break within 5-10 hours of use. I was one of many to encounter this problem, which pissed me off on so many levels. I compensated after learning that the up-strum still worked, and scored some 98 and 99 percents on a few more songs, left the thing alone for 3 hours, and came back to find the up-strum was broken! Lucky for me there are free replacements for broken guitars,  due to arrive sometime this week. After learning of the free replacement, I lost respect for the controller: Before it broke, I treated it carefully; I strummed hard enough to get recognition on screen, but soft enough to leave the controller intact, and when I was done playing I set it down softly. After learning of the replacement, I mashed the strumming paddle and threw it across the room when I was done.

The controller differs from the GH controller with 5 more fret buttons, further up the neck, called Solo Frets. These frets are played in those-parts-in-the-songs-that-are-really-really-hard-and-everyone's-watching-you-and-expecting-you-to-do-really-well-because-everyone-knows-it's-the-best-part-of-the-song-no-questions-asked. You don't have to strum while using these frets, nor do you have to use the solo frets at all, and I don't recommend that you do: the transition between normal frets and solo frets must be fast and accurate, or you'll throw off your beat and miss maybe 5 notes, so practice away.

The next instrument are the drums. This seemingly simple instrument which 90% of kids under 10 want to play are the hardest instrument to master in the game. The only people I would expect to play these on anything above easy with an accuracy greater than sucky percent on their first try are people who actually play drums. The button configuration is modified: Red is the snare drum, Yellow and Blue can be either cymbals or tom toms, Green is the crash cymbal, and Orange is the kick pedal. This instrument is not designed to break within 5 hours. I think everyone can guess how to play this instrument.

The third instrument is vocals. Voicing the lyrics isn't as hard as you think, but it is the most humiliating aspect of this game. Most people fail this part because they get The Giggles and their head explodes. Awwwwwwwwww. For vocals, the note-track thing is at the top of the screen, turned sideways, and eliminated of every color except green. The lyrics are provided below the tone, and when they hit a mark on screen, you sing the lyrics at the tone it is supposed to be sung at. You get a little carrot thing to tell you where your tone is. Another thing that's cool about the vocals is that the actual track vocals can be muted so you only hear the voice of the person singing into the microphone!

Now on to Overdrive Mode, the Rock Band equivalent of Star Power. This, obviously, gives you a huge point bonus and gives you a feeling that you're better than everyone else in the room with you. On guitar, you flick the headstock upwards and it goes "FWEOOOWOOOWOOW!!!!" and the note-track gets fancy gold stuff on it. On drums, you wait until the note-track fills with solid notes, then mash on the drums and at the end (you have to) hit the Green pad, then it goes "FWEOOOWOOOWOOW!!!!" and the note-track gets fancy gold stuff on it. On vocals, when gold stuff appears on it, say anything you want and it goes "FWEOOOWOOOWOOW!!!!" and the note-track gets fancy goats on it. Just kidding, it gets gold stuff too.

Rock Band also comes with character customization, a real step-up from Guitar Hero, but it just isn't customizable enough! And the worst of it: NO HATS. Why?!?!??!?!? Hats are an essential piece to a fake rock-star! It's what makes them legitimate!!! Oh, so you guys down at Harmonix got tired, and that's why my character can't wear a Dr. Seuss hat?!?!?? IS THAT THE BEST REASON YOU HAVE?!??!?!?!?!??!?? EDIT: It comes to my attention that Rock Band in fact does have 4 hats, but they're under the "hair" category... so it's not so much a hat as it is a very good hairdo. One of the most common complaints is that characters are restricted to only one instrument, so if your guy plays guitar they can't play drums because you're too stupid to know how to talk or whack a box with a stick, you idiot.

Rock Band is shipped in either a single game, $60, or in the bundle: a $169.99 package containing the game, drums, microphone, some bubble wrap, a goat, and one guitar. Yeah, one guitar. Individual instruments won't be sold until early 2008 [Ed: They're out now.], but that's ok because Rock Band can be played with your old Guitar Hero controllers, a traitorous move, but then again GH controllers are much more reliable.

Rock Band, although being burdened by its problems, many of which I could not list due to length and the fact that this game isn't easy to review, will definitely be what puts Guitar Hero in its grave. It might be the best party game of the decade and I look forward to many years of musical fun with this game.

Rock Band shreds its way to a 9/10!